Do Re Me…Fa La La La La

I’m not feeling very creative today so I will resurrect something I wrote several years ago for the holiday season. A word of explanation, however, is needed first. I worked in the same public library for many years. Each December, some of us would organize a holiday staff party and one of the “highlights” of the party was the talent show the staff would participate in. I’m not quite sure how the tradition got started but each staff level (librarians, library assistants, library aides and library pages) would get together weeks before the event and create a song, poem or some other piece of entertainment and then spend several days rehearsing for the big event. Because I was the Lead Reference Librarian, I somehow took on the role of writing the librarians' act. Some years it was a library poem; other years it was a song or some other silly nonsense. Now, in my own defense, I readily admit I am the least creative person I know…that side of my brain either doesn’t exist or is in extreme dormancy and just doesn’t seem to function. In addition, what made the party so much fun was the truly awful nature of our performances…the sillier and hokier the better.

So without further ado, I am “proud” to present:

“The Reference Desk Song” (sung to Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the stacks
With a patron close behind
Looking for that book
We have to help her find
It’s for her son’s report
He couldn’t come himself
She’s in a hurry, don’t delay
Just grab it from the shelf.

Storytimes are here
For kids from two through five
It’s our job to make
The stories come alive
So they will learn to love
The books they ought to read
And visit when reports are due
For info they will need.
Oh…

CHORUS:
Reference Desk
Reference Desk
We’re here to help you find
The information that it takes
To educate your mind
Dic-tion-a-ries
Al-man-acs
En-cy-clo-pe-di-as
Databases, GS pubs
And every me-di-a

The library is hot
Oh no, now it is cold
The vents are never cleaned
They’re surely full of mold
No wonder we’re all sick
We sneeze and cough and wheeze
Some day we all might stay at home
With some dreadful disease.

We’re in a budget crunch
We have no funds to spend
So don’t expect new books
We’ll have to mend and mend
We have the special tax
But no one seems to know
How much we are entitled to
Or where the money goes.
Oh…

CHORUS:
Reference Desk
Reference Desk
We’re here to help you find
The information that it takes
To educate your mind
Dic-tion-a-ries
Al-man-acs
En-cy-clo-pe-di-as
Databases, GS pubs
And every me-di-a

THE END (applause, applause)