Last week,
Empress Bee was kind enough to tag me with the “10 Lies My Mother Told Me” meme. I’ve been putting it off mostly because I’ve been having a tough time finding ten things my mom actually lied about. Then today my cousin,
The Moose Buyer, tagged me with the very same meme so I guess I can’t put it off any longer. Forgive me Mom for divulging these glaring lies:
1.
“This will hurt me more than it hurts you.” OK…did she really believe I’d fall for that line as she was coming at me for a well deserved spanking?
2.
“I don’t think the pediatrician will give you a shot today.” This little lie was her attempt to prevent me from getting all worked up about the pain associated with an injection. Did I mention that we always got shots during our annual exams (all those damn vaccines).
3.
“Mrs. S is a good teacher.” My fifth grade teacher bordered on obsessive compulsive and we all thought she was certifiable. Even so, my mom continued to praise her in my company because she always thought it important to support the authority of our teachers no matter how awful they truly were.
4.
“Eat your peas; they’re good for you.” Alright…this might not be a lie but I still do not see any beneficial results from eating these small round things.
5.
“Yes, you need to continue ballet lessons. They will teach you to be graceful.” Now this one, I think, was her wishful thinking for me rather than an actual lie. Who knew there was not one ounce of grace found anywhere in my body?!?!?!
6.
“Yes, I’ve stopped smoking.” This one was eventually true but it took many times catching her smoking in the bathroom before she finally quit for good.
7.
“Boys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses.” I swear this was a lie at least during my junior high school days.
8.
“Stand up straight and you’ll grow tall.” Hmmmm...I tried walking around with my head held high and I’m still the shortest female in my immediate family.
9.
“Of course you have a nice singing voice.” This was either a downright lie or my mom suffers from a very tin ear.
10.
“I realize you hate beets but I know you’ll like them prepared this way.” No amount of cooking or pickling them will ever get me to eat beets.
Whew…as I said, this was a hard one because Mom truly did try and set an example by telling us the truth…at least most of the time. Anyway, I don’t want to pressure anyone so, if you are so inclined, please feel free to consider yourself tagged.