Retirement is a week filled with Saturdays and Sundays interrupted only occasionally by a holiday.

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Monday, March 26, 2007

No Good News

I haven’t really felt like blogging the past few days since I read an email, from a friend at my former library, when I got back from my trip. My friend’s email related three unhappy events during the past week. One of my former coworkers fell and hurt her ankle severely and will be in a cast for at least the next three weeks. Another friend’s brother passed away after battling a series of health problems. The final and most tragic event involves a friend from work whom I’ve known for more than 20 years.

Apparently my friend’s husband, missing for more than a day, was found near his car in a remote canyon and the local newspaper is reporting it as a suspected suicide. This news has stunned me and all those who work at the library…they have always seemed like a happy and successful couple although I know that outward appearance is not always an indicator of what is going on behind closed doors and in each person’s psyche. I know that my friend is currently surrounded by family and close friends and, although I feel a personal need to offer comfort and solace, I also know that it would be best to allow her to grieve privately until she is ready to face the world. I know it’s the best thing I can do as a friend.

10 comments:

Susie said...

Sometimes sitting back is the hardest thing to do. I can only imagine her grief in this tragic situation..

patches said...

My heart goes out to Joan. Grieving is such a personal process, a twenty year friendship should provide you with the experience to know when she is ready for your comfort. Take a moment and be thankful for the grace you have received in your own, and when the time is right you can that grace and a little comfort to a friend in need.

Renee said...

I'm so sorry to hear all this recent bad news.

I think that your friend will appreciate having your comfort when she is ready for it.

Pam said...

How very sad... for so many people. Yes, grieving is personal and no one can predict how it will unfold for another person. When she is ready, it will be good for her to have friends to surround her and talk about/remember her husband -- the good times. Especially if it was a suicide. Suicide is devastating in and of itself but to have that be the defining moment of the loved one makes it even more tragic, I think.

I'm sorry for all the bad news lately...

meno said...

Oh what a sad thing. It's hard enough to know how to offer comfort with any death, this is even harder.

But you will be there when she is ready.

Iamthebookworm said...

I'm sorry that you have gotten so much bad news and I am SO sorry for your friend.

Patti said...

I too am sorry you have gotten so much bad news. I sensed something was up when you didn't post anything on your blog for a few days.
When your friend is ready to talk, yo will be a comfort to her, I am sure.
Meanwhile Joey's presence will bring you joy.

As for sleep problems, my kids used to love the swing, but Kid Two outgrew it by the time he was 4 months. Joey must be small for his age. ;-)

Lynn said...

How wonderful that you are able to put your friends need, for privacy, before your own need to provide comfort. You are truly a good friend!

Joan said...

Susie, Patches, Renee, Pam, Meno, Iamthebookworm, Patti, Lynn:

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. Being able to share my thoughts with you during this sad time is really a wonderful thing and your encouraging words are so meaningful to me.

Midlife Mom said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and with your friends that are going through hard times right now. This time is good for you to get your feet back under you so that you will have the strength to help your friend when she is ready for it. Having experienced losing a loved one to suicide I know that talking will help her heal from this tragic event and I know you will be a good listener!