Retirement is a week filled with Saturdays and Sundays interrupted only occasionally by a holiday.

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Red Flag Warning Cancelled

OK...I think I'm better. I had my really good cry and now my heart and head are back to normal and I don't feel like a raving lunatic. It's always been like that. Whenever I've felt out-of-control, I'd wait for the crying to come and then everything would be fine. I thought I was going to break out sobbing in church last night but I managed to hold back the tears. I could feel the sobs working their way up from my stomach through my heart to my eyes but I just willed myself not to cry. Once I got home, had some dinner and started watching TV, that's when the dam burst. My husband knows that I'm inconsolable when I'm at this stage so he left me alone and let me get over myself. So things are back to normal and I feel a heck of a lot better.

Yes...crying does make me feel better. Growing up, I was a pretty high-strung child and teen. I'd get myself worked up over something, run into my room, and burst into tears. When I was done, I come out and my mom would always ask "So...did all that crying make you feel better?" Her tone of voice always made me feel that somehow my crying was silly...a weakness. I could never make her understand that I DID feel better when it was over. My mom was not a crier...in fact, I can only remember two times when I saw her cry while I was growing up. The first time, she and I were watching the 1939 version of Wuthering Heights on TV and, as Merle Oberon was on her death bed with Laurence Olivier standing over her, the two of us were sobbing away. The only other time I saw my mom cry was when her mother passed away. So through the years, her stoicism always made me feel that my crying was something not to be tolerated. As an adult, however, I've come to realize that everyone handles emotions differently and there is no right or wrong way. So I've cried, I feel better and that's a good thing.

12 comments:

only oldest said...

you, Auntie E and I have always been the emotional ones in the family and crying is always a good release. There is nothing wrong with a good cry to clean out the soul. Always remember "Eddie Duchin's" movie wasn't a memorable one but it has always served us just fine in times of need for this purpose!!!

Joan said...

Every time I see "The Eddie Duchin Story" on TV, I always think of you as I'm crying my eyes out. Maybe I need to see if it's on DVD so I can buy it, watch it, and get over myself much quicker. Thanks for the idea.

Lynn said...

Glad that you're feeling better! I really appreciate your insight re: Mom and how her tone of voice made you feel silly and weak when you would cry. This really struck a nerve with me...I've often felt that I was not a very strong person and many time I've felt less than adequate, as if I've somehow disappointed mom...now I think I understand why.

sari said...

Glad you got it out! That always helps me too.

Pam said...

Crying is definitely more socially acceptable now (thank God)! Glad you are feeling better.

Patti said...

Glad to read that you are feeling better.
'Tis true that everyone handles their emotions in different ways.

P.S. For some reason I couldn't leave a comment earlier today.

LadyBugCrossing said...

THanks for dropping by my blog! I've enjoyed yours - a good cry is a good thing!
LBC

Iamthebookworm said...

I always feel better after letting my emotions out whether it's crying or just a gold old-fashioned rant.

only oldest said...

Lynn, I think you and Joan misunderstood Mom. She is a stoic person, and we know Auntie E was very emotional but never once did Mom put Auntie E down for being a crybaby and I always found Mom to be very comforting when I was down. All these years I have turned to her for comfort and even though she has very short term memory, I still feel the need of her strength and probably always will. She is the necessary rock of our family and always a safe place to run to.

Joan said...

Lynn: I know mom never meant any harm...it was just her way.

Sari: Glad to know crying helps others as well.

Pam: I am so glad the need to cry has finally come out of hiding.

Patti: Thanks for the well wishes. Also, I've been having problems commenting on some of the blogs I read...I'm sure it's a continuing Blogger problem.

Ladybugcrossing: Welcome. Yes, absolutely...crying IS a good thing.

Iamthebookworm: I agree...both crying and ranting make me feel better...and sometimes I do both at the same time.

Only oldest: There is a significant difference between being a daughter and a niece...trust me.

patches said...

I'm more of a stoic, but the last time I checked there aren't any hard and fast rules for coping. When you cry, you always benefit from the release. It's up to all of us to let go the best way we know how.

meno said...

I'm a stoic, but when the crying comes, look out, and leave me the hell alone because you can't help.

I think there's some research somehere that indicates that crying actually clears out some bad chemicals from our bodies.